Being a girl

Good evening everyone,

here I am again.. I just came back from a little summer gathering at our local seminary so now I'm fully stuffed for we had a barbecue and I had not eaten before.. damn.. I feel huge :-D
So what's on my agenda.. well next week I'll have two more verbal exams and then I'll be off to doing NOTHING AT ALL! I'm so looking forward to this.. right now time's really stressful for I'm studying day after day for those exams.. my written test on Monday was good I think but I cannot really assess it.. we'll see.
My week-end won't be so interesting I guess for I'll get up early to go to the library to study.. maybe I'll meet up with some friends, but that's not clear right now...
Maybe next time I'll have more interesting news ;-)

♥

Oh dear I'm freaking out! On Monday is my very important exam and I don't have enough time to get all the stuff in my head :-( I'm learning like all day for the whole week and still it feels like I'm never gonna get it done in time.. it's just too much I think. I get up early every morning to get a seat in our library which is full of people every day so one has to be there early and in case of need be ready to fight for a seat ;-)
Furthermore I just got new glasses which really are pretty but I feel like they're not quite right for I have trouble keeping up my overview and I'm not feeling much in control (like I'm drunk or something) which I hate. So on Monday after my exam and work I'll go back to our optician to have him look at/in my eyes to get some kind of check up.. we'll SEE... haha..
That's all for now I guess.. nothing more going on over here.

Oh well.. I forgot.. forget about Munich.. I changed my mind. Some post Munich crazyness.. insanity!!:-)

♥

Here I am - back again.
From Friday to Tuesday I was in Munich on a trip to visit Christoph. It's been a really really great time, he showed me everything one needs to know about Munich and I met all of his friends who were very very nice, they even want me to come back soon:) Maybe in our "holidays" I'll have some time to go back.. I don't know yet since I have to work every day starting in August.



At first I was pretty scared of flying but thank God nothing happened and I got there and back safely.
While staying there it really got me thinking if I also wanted to switch Universities and study there. I had that idea some months ago but I forgot about it for I had too much other stuff on my mind. But being there and seeing this clean city with so many people and all this culture and such a good education at the University it actually got me thinking.. but hello..kinda crazy. right? I just moved last year..



I don't know what to do.. if I could tell my parents or anything.. I talked to them back in the day and they were not strictly against it.. I don't know. We'll see I guess.. this would not happen until next March or something..so there still is some time to think about it!



♥

Hey hey hey...
another day is almost over and I haven't done anything but study and relax.. when I got up this morning I made a trip to "NETTO".. a new supermarket which opened up some weeks ago. First I wanted to go there by bike but it started raining (and hasn't stopped yet) so I took the streetcar. I got all the groceries I wanted after some time that I needed to find my way around:)
Back home I did my laundry (I love it!!) and started studying which I only stopped for eating.. after some time I took a break and watched "7th Heaven" on DVD.. oh yeah.. just beautiful.. then I'm 15 years old again and it feels sooo good:) Tonight there's nothing to do for me I think.. yesterday Milena, Cati, Magda and I had a barbecue at their home which was very nice so tonight I'll take my time to keep on studying I guess.
Here are some pics of yesterday:







That's all for now I think.. have a nice evening!:)

♥

... I now try to be here more often to keep you all informed:)
Today I did not even leave my home.. I was home all day doing God knows what.. thinking back I cannot really tell. I was home learning but surely not all day long. I surfed the net, made some phonecalls and now it's already kinda late.. strange!
Tomorrow I'll have to work, later on I'll meet Maresa and Kathrin and in the evening I'll go over to Milena's home to celebrate Cati's moving in! I don't have any plans for the week-end yet.. I just really have to learn that's all I guess.. maybe I'll be over at Frieda's.. we might be learning together.. that's it for now.. nothing really exctiting happening!
I'm on skype some time of the day to talk to Christoph over there in Munich and most of the time it's pretty good..sometimes kinda annoying since we often are out of topics to talk about after like 10 to 15 minutes. But it's okay I guess.. I'm fine.. my life's fine..everything's fine for the moment.

♥

...and again it's been a long long time since I've last written something in here. I have to admit I'm a little too lazy most of the time..furthermore there's not so much going on in my life. At the moment I'm pretty busy getting along with all the stuff that has to be done right now for there are exams at the end of this semester at the end of July.. I still have another two papers due soon which are almost done but yeah..ALMOST..
Somehow I kinda hurt my back today even though I have no clue how that did happen..:(
So what's new..? It's been my sister's birthday yesterday and I went home to celebrate. We had a barbecue at our house which was pretty nice:) Today my parents drove me back to Bonn and we had a lovely dinner before they went back home. For some hours now I'm sitting on my desk tiping my paper and I guess I'll have to go to bed soon for I have to get up early tomorrow to go on learning and tiping and do whatever that is that has to be done. I'm feeling a little depressed this evening.. I'm not sure why.. I'm a little lonely and I feel huge and just not comfortable in my own skin.. maybe tomorrow will be a better day.. we'll see:-)

♥

Knock knock.. here I am:) Time passes by so unbelievably fast.. it's already April and next week the holidays are over and we all have to go back to work... this time without Christoph who switched universities and now studies in Munich which is not as bad as I believed it would be. Some weeks ago we went to Munich to enlist and spent two days there.. which was pretty amazing.
Furthermore summer is coming and I'm really looking forward to sitting out on my balcony with all my flowers and friends hopefully:)

There's nothing else out there for me I think.... not so much happening.

♥

Well well.. time has gone by and things have changed..pretty much. Christoph and me are no longer together..now like more than 2 months..it's been a pretty rough time for me of course since he was the one breaking up with me...but now we're some kind of friends I guess. We get along pretty well..sometimes even better than back when we were a couple..maybe because now we're not that into it anymore..
So..what else is new? It started snowing today.. it's pretty cold outside and I hate it.. I'm not really a fan of this time of the year!

♥

[current mood | lonely]

Hey guys...
... what's new? Well.. nothing special on my account.. I'm kinda lonely 'cause Christoph's still in Poland and none of my friends are in Bonn and I cannot go home to Aachen because here's too much stuff going on.. well well.. kinda sucks. Right now my life's all about getting through the days.. I still have to go on writing on my papers and do some other university related stuff.. but nothing really cheery! I mean, I get up every day, eat, maybe go to Mc Fit.. mostly spend the time on my own.. oh it's gonna suck so much when Christoph will be leaving for Munich.. damn it! :(

So furthermore it's really really hot in here and I cannot sleep so well at night.. I don't know.. everything's kinda annoying right now...

♥

[current mood | stressed]

...has gone by and is has been kinda stressful again. I was in the library to study and later on I went home so I could finally do my laundry and get it all dry outside on my balcony. In the meantime I sat outside still learning and now my head's all full.
Furthermore I have to care about some insurance stuff for my new job which is really annoying because no one can really tell me what I have to do. So tomorrow I'm in Cologne again for work and afterwards I have to go to the social pension fund to get some information and then I'll go back to the library to study! But next week's all over and I hope it'll all be gooooood!:)

Soooo.. in about 20 min I'll have to watch TV.."Sarah & Marc crazy in love".. yay yay yay!:)

Have a nice evening!

♥

[current mood | exhausted]

.. I'm kinda ill and exhausted and cold and and and.. at the moment my life's kinda hectic and stressful because of the upcoming exams (orals)! I try to get up early every day to go to the library to have some "quality time" with my books :( I come home late and then I'm so down and out I cannot think properly.. I'm annoyed right now. I cannot wait for this time to be over.. next week it's over thank God!! My exams are 15th and 17th next week. Later on I will relax for like a week and then I have to write some reports.. but still I'm really looking forward to this..strange:)
But the good thing is.. I've got a job now in Cologne! Finally some money!!:)

So outside it's raining and I think I'll learn now.. nothing else to do.. Lord I'm young and already boring..haha..

♥

[current mood | relaxed]

Hey hey hey.. I'm feeling pretty fine! I just got home from a wonderful date with Alma.. we were lying near the Rhine on our towels in bikinis enjoying the sun! Actually we wanted to go to the open air bath but it doesn't open up until June 1st..stupid... and of course we didn't know!:D
But it was great nevertheless and I'm getting more and more colour which I'm really excited about! I love the summer look.. it fells so healthy..
Tomorrow Christoph's coming and we'll have some alone time before we'll go to Cologne to meet Henning and have some beer as far as I'm informed.. I don't know..we'll see.
So there's nothing new in my life so far..I guess.. still working on my paper.. well..that's all for now.


♥

[current mood | working]

Oh hey everyone.. or better.. hey you.. I'm pretty sure there aren't many people reading this;)
My days mostly are pretty full because this term is hard. I still have 2 papers to do and give a presentation on Augustins' mother Monica. My biggest problem is just, that I cannot print.. my printer is damaged and no one has any idea how to get it fixed because there's nothing wrong..damn it! It just does not print without any error - message.. it really does suck!
So furthermore I'm in a good state of mind.. everything's fine in my relationship with Christoph and this week-end I will be home again because of my mum's birthday so I won't be all alone again. I'm really looking forward to this..it surely will be fun.. well..I hope..;)

♥

[current mood | okay]

Hey guys,
what's new?
Well we're all back to university..starting fresh! So week 1 is already over and nothing really happened. I'm glad I can see all my friends again and I have like a controlled day and I'm not sleeping until noon;)
So the sun was shining today and I cannot wait for summer to come..when we can all lie on the grass outside the university!
This weekend is pretty full which I'm happy about. Pia is coming tomorrow and on Saturday we'll attend Vero's birthday party with Kathrin coming from Aachen. I hope it'll be fun.

♥

[current mood | relieved]

Hey guys,
here are some news. Well Christoph has not changed his mind about going to Munich but he might have changed his mind about staying there afterwards. Yesterday we met for the first time after three weeks and it was just wonderful! We had a wonderful time just hanging around and he told me how much he missed me etc.. it was just perfect. So before he left he asked when he was allowed to come back (which he never asked before) and I'm just looking forward to it.. sure we haven't set a date or something but we'll talk about it another time on ICQ or something I guess. Sure it'll still be hard when he leaves for Munich but I try to enjoy the time we have left..you know!?
So today I went for lunch with Alma and afterwards we went to the city to buy some flowers and when I got home put them all nicely on my balcony which I'm pretty proud of. It's silly..I know:)
Now I'm about to learn for my upcoming test on Tuesday because tonight I won't have time because of "Germany's next topmodel":)

So have a nice day
♥

[current mood | pessimistic]

Well well.. I cannot tell.. I definetely cannot tell. Christoph thinks about going to Munich in winter for one semester and maybe he'll be staying there if he feels welcome.. but what will happen to us? We're just having one of our stupid ICQ talks where we're not going anywhere and I feel pretty much fucked up. First we wanted to do one semester in another town together.. but now it seems that he wants to do this on his own.. he has to think about himself he says.. sure.. I want him to use this opportunity but I cannot imagine our relationship surviving this.. I don't know. We're not really steady in our relationship..not at all.. and I don't want him to leave me or us behind. He asks me what I do think about this but does it matter? I cannot make him stay.. sure I want him to stay by my side.. but he'll never be that kind of guy.. I know how my relationship with Martin sucked in the end because we didn't see each other as much as we did before.. he doesn't even love me.. is it worth all that drama? I just struggle.. nothing is decided yet.. but.. I'm scared it will happen and I'm on my own again.. all by myself in Bonn.. with whom else around if he's not there? I've never been that confused in my life... since I know him everything is so complicated.. I just want him to love me..that's all I want.. damn it! I just thought we'd be forever but it's all so unsure and I'm not his priority.. so .. where do we go from here..?

[current mood | thoughtful]



Hey there..
here I am again.
At the moment everything's kinda hectic.. I'm home late every day and so much work to do. Furthermore I'm feeling sick..I've got a dry cough, maybe because of the moult in my flat.. which pretty much sucks. My hirer does come along today to have a look at that..but I already do have another flat to move to.. January. I'm really looking forward to it even though it'll be pretty stressful 'cause it's so short after Christmas and New Year's eve.. well... we'll see.
So I just cleaned my whole flat and now I' waiting.... surprisingly I'm not that tired.. I just could not fall asleep yesterday.. well..maybe I can jump into bed this evening pretty early.

♥

[current mood | tired

Hey everybody..
it took my quite a while again to write something new..
So there are no really interesting things happening in my life.. it's just been my birthday on Sunday and now I'm officially old..damn it! I did celebrate it at home with my family and the night before with 3 friends..Pia, Jessi and Dani.. it's been pretty nice!






This week-end I'll be going back to Bonn and hopefully I'm going to meet some of my friends.. we still have to set some dates..but I'm looking forward to it.

So Christoph's coming home from Poland tomorrow and he'll be calling me.. well that will be nice somehow.. even though I'm kinda pissed because he didn't call me on my birthday and some other things..we'll see!

♥

[current mood | good]

Oh wow.. it's been a lifetime!! So much has changed since I wrote my last entry. Martin and me are no longer a couple, now it's already fall and I just came back from Hungary where I went to with Christoph and Zoltan somehow.
At the moment I have to say that I feel fine about my life. I'm really much in love with Christoph and I had a wonderful holiday with him and - before that - with my friends in Domburg where we all got along pretty good.
Today I'm out to meet Katrin in Beuel where we'll go to a town-feast or whatever it's called. So I'll have to shower pretty soon and tell he when I'm coming which is not that easy to do because my phone's broken again..:(

♥

[current mood | happy]

Well well well guys..
it's been a pretty long time..right? I'm really kinda lazy concerning the writing here.. also because I'm kinda sure that no one does read it:)
So what's new?? Let me think... I'm in a happy state of mind I would say.. my life's pretty good right now. I'm not that lonely etc anymore.. I feel like being able to be myself. I've got lovely friends here and I just feel fine.
This week-end I'll go home (again) for it's my mum's and Pia's birthday and I'm really looking forward to the celebrations. Furthermore I can spend time with my friends whom I really miss and just have a good time..:)
So this year it took us quite a long time until we figured out what kinds of presents to buy but eventually we got lucky.. dear Lord!!:)

So to update my gallery etc.. have fun with these: